What’s most important to me is that we love the qualities of each other that are foundational to our character and that make us who we are, no one else, but us. Making a connection with another person’s values is the strongest connection you can find.
Written to celebrate my one year engagement anniversary
Being in a committed relationship is a world-win of emotions, feeling, thoughts and perspectives but ultimately such a comfortable and genuine place to rest your heart.
Since being engaged 1 year ago, I’ve started to
look at our relationship as the beginning of an eternal union and have silently
been analyzing our highs and our lows through the eyes of marriage. Being young
and fully committed is a challenge when there aren’t many of my peers that are
in the same category or even close to be – which is 100% fine – but having few
people that share the same experiences, I am reluctant to share moments with
them and opinions about the relationship because I know honestly that they just
won’t understand in the same way. They don’t know what we have but I sometimes
wish they could find it for themselves.
My partner and I are on a track, in step together
down a path that leads us wherever God means it to go but what we know is that
we’re extremely excited to be on it together. What’s most important to me is
that we love the qualities of each other that are foundational to our character
and that make us who we are, no one else, but us. Making a connection with
another person’s values is the strongest connection you can find. This is
because if you cannot put the similar amount of energy into the things that
mean the most to you (like: family time, unique experiences, honesty, integrity,
being present etc.) then you may catch yourself in a constant state of
disagreement, now how can love live in that?
I say all this to say, 1 year into the engagement, or pre-marriage as I sometimes think, and almost 5 years together, we’re still figuring it out. We disagree and argue here and there but we know it’s as great as its always been. I’ll leave you with a piece of advice that helps me overcome those moments when my brain hits the gas petal and I start to overthink…no one knows what you’re going through but you, no one knows your relationship but you, stop trying to improve on what is already good and just enjoy your moment.
In movies the guys are either rich or spend too much which is hard to believe because we never actually see them working. In real life, a dinner with a small gift will always be better than big presents (and more affordable).
Read this post to uncover the truth about valentines day. Love is in the air. Urban Guide to the Galaxy wants to spread some #truth about this holiday and offer the male perspectives on what should be expected on this female dominated holiday.
This guide may not capture everyone’s sentiment but will still be entertaining nonetheless. For insights on the male perspective of this holiday. I asked my coworker friend (who might I say, is very honest and in touch with his feelings). Read his answers below
What does valentines day mean to you?
Time of giving to people you like, Gifts for significant others
Reflection on the past relationships, their ups and downs, and how you want to be treated
Reminiscing happy memories and creating new ones (even if its with friends, lovers, pets, you name it)
Describe valentines day in the movies vs. Reality
In movies the guys are either rich or spend too much which is hard to believe because we never see them actually working
In real life, a dinner with a small gift will always be better than big presents
Thoughtful gifts trump gifts that cost bags of money (In my opinion both sides should give gifts to each other, guys need love too)
Reality, a candle lit dinner in an apartment or house is usually good enough. Or depending on the person sometimes Netflix, and ordering junk food is also the best date.
Spending the whole day together instead of one night would be a better thing to do, but that’s my opinion
What do guys want for valentine’s day
Depending on my interest at the time. I would want something thoughtful but not too expensive but not too cheap either, so I don’t really know. Lol.
Possibly a new signature smell (perfume) (Something that smells good and goes together with the other persons perfume, (Complement each other)
Nice homemade dinner at an Airbnb or at whomever house/apt. Surprise me with my favorite dish
Some game like Call of Duty or any games/hobbies that I like
Maybe sports games tickets for two. Tickets for me and a buddy or (couple) to go the game
Personally, speaking I like live shows and musicals! That would be fun for me but it has to have good reviews
How should one make the most of theirtime with someone they care about?
I don’t know… Spend time with them. Have fun get into deep talks about life.
Talk about aspirations and goals, things you both want to do together…travel etc.
Do something you both enjoy, it’s not like a one-sided thing
If you like going out then go out, but if you like being more of a homebody then stay in, order food or cook together. It’s important to spend time bonding
Try not to talk about yourself too much wait for questions to be asked so you don’t take over the whole conversation
Enjoy the night and the day. Don’t show disinterest unless the topic of conversation is boring as hell. Try new things… do new things….
Be serious and show you care…. Don’t just keep saying it. Talk is cheap
And there you have it. The truth about Valentines day. Sending love to everyone this month and remember to check back for more Urban Guides.
From contraception to comfortability, everyone has the right to be in control of their sexual health and the best way to make the best decisions for yourself is to have relevant information.
Stay informed and empowered to protect your sexual and reproductive health
Decisions around sex are often made in the heat of the moment. Many forget to take the time to think about their sexual health and fail to consider the affect their sex-life can have on their personal well-being. From contraception to comfortability, everyone has the right to be in control of their sexual health and the best way to make the best decisions for yourself is to have relevant information.
Reproductiveaccess.org is the website for The Reproductive Health Access Network which pulls together nearly 1,400 primary care clinicians from all over the country to work together nationally and in their respective communities to expand access to abortion, contraception, and miscarriage care in their clinical and teaching practices. They offer a thorough analysis of contraceptive methods. Look below:
There is no right or wrong way to create an individualized sexual health plan that suits you and reflects your values and personal circumstances. Some prefer to write it down, some like to chat about it with people they trust, some like to keep it in their head. The idea is to be prepared so you are in the best position to take control of your well-being.
Here are some questions to help you start thinking about your sexual health plan:
At this point in my life, engaging in sexual activity with a partner(s) is a good decision for me. Consider.
How ready I feel
Circumstances and context
My values, including religious values if relevant
My parents’/guardians’ values if relevant
Do I have the information and resources necessary to protect myself from or treat an STI? To prevent pregnancy if I don’t want to be pregnant? If not, where could I access this information and/or those resources?
Do I know what I’d do if I got pregnant?
At this point in my life, I feel comfortable having sex in the context of:
A monogamous relationship
A non-monogamous relationship
I believe that I have the information and resources necessary to plan how to:
Talk to a partner about the importance of safer sex, like using condoms
Use condoms every time I have sex
Take the necessary steps to have safer sex if I wish to have condomless sex with a trusted partner (i.e. to discuss both partners getting tested and agreeing to be monogamous)
Make sure I have access to and can use effective birth control or contraception if I have vaginal sex
Get tested for an STI, and get treatment if necessary
Get tested for pregnancy if necessary
Deal with an unintended pregnancy
Thank for reading. Stay Tuned for more Urban Guides.
Allow your date to finish their complete thoughts when speaking, all too often we rush their true message and complain that she was sending mixed signals.
Updated May 2020
Love with your third eye
Listen up you romantics, dating season is upon us. This post is for you.
Dating in 2020 isn’t easy. We are bombarded with reminders of our current relationship status and for what purpose?
Dating or not, it’s always nice to be wined and dined. This post should help provide insight on the perfect date and finding meaningful personal connections.
This is probably the right time to tell you this will involve some effort. Women are complex and have intuitive abilities to see through the B.S. That said, ideas here are not so difficult, they simply require some etiquette, manners, and respect. After making the arrangements you want to set a reservation. The idea here is to plan ahead to make the date seem organized and intentional. While on the date, be kind to everyone. Your date wants to see that you are a nice member of society, and that others respond well to you.
Allow your date to finish their complete thoughts when speaking, all too often we rush the true message and complain that she was sending mixed signals.
You may like this guy and not know it, don’t rush your feelings. We mentally ask ourselves questions about people we meet and rush to find suitable answers, without full grasp of what we’re asking. Men sometimes need more time to portray a clear message. That said, if you think you know his intentions, trust you are correct and proceed with your intuition.
Woman complain men waste their time, but are the same ones expelling it to them.
If there was a formula for love, it would be the top commodity that all nations would fight for. Your best tool in love is your intuition.