The Engaged Life

What’s most important to me is that we love the qualities of each other that are foundational to our character and that make us who we are, no one else, but us. Making a connection with another person’s values is the strongest connection you can find.

Written to celebrate my one year engagement anniversary

Isaiah and Peta-Ann – insta: mixedwitlove

Being in a committed relationship is a world-win of emotions, feeling, thoughts and perspectives but ultimately such a comfortable and genuine place to rest your heart.

Since being engaged 1 year ago, I’ve started to look at our relationship as the beginning of an eternal union and have silently been analyzing our highs and our lows through the eyes of marriage. Being young and fully committed is a challenge when there aren’t many of my peers that are in the same category or even close to be – which is 100% fine – but having few people that share the same experiences, I am reluctant to share moments with them and opinions about the relationship because I know honestly that they just won’t understand in the same way. They don’t know what we have but I sometimes wish they could find it for themselves.

My partner and I are on a track, in step together down a path that leads us wherever God means it to go but what we know is that we’re extremely excited to be on it together. What’s most important to me is that we love the qualities of each other that are foundational to our character and that make us who we are, no one else, but us. Making a connection with another person’s values is the strongest connection you can find. This is because if you cannot put the similar amount of energy into the things that mean the most to you (like: family time, unique experiences, honesty, integrity, being present etc.) then you may catch yourself in a constant state of disagreement, now how can love live in that?

I say all this to say, 1 year into the engagement, or pre-marriage as I sometimes think, and almost 5 years together, we’re still figuring it out. We disagree and argue here and there but we know it’s as great as its always been. I’ll leave you with a piece of advice that helps me overcome those moments when my brain hits the gas petal and I start to overthink…no one knows what you’re going through but you, no one knows your relationship but you, stop trying to improve on what is already good and just enjoy your moment.

Thank you for reading this Urban Guide

Is procrastination slowly stealing your success? Read 3 things to help get to your goals

Every day you put something off is one day fewer without success.

When I think of sheer will and determination I often tip my hat to the up & coming artists, designers, entrepreneurs, and athletes. No one knows perseverance like those on the verge of great success.

We all want to be successful and stand in the foreground to be heard because well, we deserve to. But why? The story you will tell is the most inspiring and is the one that needs to be told the most.

Keep reading for some ideas on how to re-motivate yourself and beat the procrastination.

Procrastination is something I’ve been personally struggling with for the last few months (as you can tell by my last post dated in April), I’ve let the whole summer go by without understanding the root cause of this un-motivation that has taken over me and caused me to slow the effort put into my blog, and design work.

Should I blame it on being a new graduate, looking for a career, and feeling over worked and just wanting to take a break? No. I managed to continue writing during the winter while being a full-time intern in IT.

Should I blame it on my lack of blog topics? No. The summer season is full of adventure, life, and inspiration that I can harness at any given moment.

Should I blame it on lack of readership? No. Writing is for the soul and this personal reflection of my ideas and relevant advice topics allow me to have catharsis, even if only 1 person reads it.

The fact of the matter is that the lack of effort put towards my craft and portfolio is a reflection on the lack of effort I put towards myself. Eric Thomas said it best “when you want to succeed as badly as you want to breathe, then you will be successful”. During my time away from writing the hours that slipped by compounded into days, and the days compounded into weeks until 3 full months have gone by without a single post. To Thomas’s point, it’s like I stopped breathing and got comfortable with that living numbness, but now I’m gasping and it’s time to breathe, succeed, and thrive. Everyone has periods of procrastination but how long are you going to allow it to win.  

The 3 best things to get you to your goal

#1 The first thing you can do is acknowledge why you have given up. As you just read, I felt like I had given up on myself for sometime but I acknowledged it and decided to use it as fuel for my first step back to taking control.

#2 Organize. A common reason for procrastination is feeling overwhelmed with the volume of work to do so you just don’t know where to begin. Start by dividing up what it is that’s going on in your life and compartmentalize the load into smaller, more manageable tasks.  See Below

Blog
-Write and edit 1 new post every 1-3 weeks
-Engage with other users on wordpress and generate traffic
Blog Social
-Post 3-5 new posts on Instagram to promote the blog
-Stockpile content to post as to not waste time designing each one at a time
-Create online ad for google, kijiji, facebook about freelance design
Portfolio
-Upload design samples, price lists, and continue to make updates to website
-Outreach to other small businesses that may need design work
-Generate work of mouth business by speaking confidently about your craft

#3 Follow Through. Breaking down the load into smaller, more manageable tasks can allow the entire project to be a bit more attainable. You can further flush out these tasks by organizing them into SMART Objectives that include measures of success and timelines. To learn more about smart objectives read, New Years Goal Setting.

Since I’m still coming down from the rush of the Blue Jays game yesterday I will use a baseball analogy:  Acknowledging the cause of the laziness is like off-season when day after day you are trying to perfect the swing. You workshop why the ball keeps going foul, how to stand to get that perfect base hit or even just work to ignoring those booing fans in the stands.

Organizing is stepping up to the plate, looking your opponent dead in the eye and visualizing exactly where you want the ball to go. Once you feel confident enough to stand in the ready position and wait for that perfect pitch to come over home base,

You follow through. Control the bat to hit the ball in the sweet spot every time and ignore those screaming fans. Focus on the task at hand and swing with the intent to follow through. No matter the outcome just don’t give up. The repetition and rehearsal will allow you to shine when it really counts. This will be the story you eventually tell on the great day success is standing at your door.

Final thoughts

Every day you put something off is one day fewer without success. Time is valuable and has this crazy ability to pass by slowly while also feeling likes it’s slipping away so quickly. That is why I wrote this post today. That is why it takes bravery, will and determination to move even one step towards success. And it’s also why I will continue to write and push myself to continue working on my craft.

Thanks for reading this urban guide. Enjoy the ride.

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